What is Worth it is Usually Not Easy
We do not do it because it is easy and comfortable. We do it because it is worth it. What does it mean for something to be worth it? It means that you genuinely value what you are doing. Often times, acting in accordance with what you value is difficult, whether it’s picking up that workout routine you’ve been telling yourself you’d start, fixing that relationship problem you’re having, studying more or studying better, advancing in your career, making more money, getting up earlier, eating healthier, meditating consistently, and so on. You know what you value. Or do you? We all have our personal challenges, and make no mistake thatself-actualizing, which can be defined as being, acting, and living in accordance with your highest values and potential, is extremely difficult (that’s one definition of it at least). It’s the most difficult activity you can pursue, actually, but it is the most worth while one, the most valuable one.
It is a lot easier to plop down on the couch when you get home from work, tell yourself you deserve some time to ‘relax’ and unwind and eat a whole bag of Cheetos and watch Netflix. Millions, if not billions of people do this every day. Is this how you really want to live? Really ask yourself if this is your authentic expression of yourself! If it is then that is okay. I am not here to shame anyone. I am here to challenge you to be your best self. Ultimately, I am here to show you that you have everything within you to challenge yourself and succeed in living a better life, or even the best life possible for yourself. Everything you need to self-actualize is within you. The question is, will you begin exploring yourself, which will ultimately lead to examining what reality really is? More on that another time.
It is tempting to play the victim and tell ourselves ‘I’m so worn out because I’ve been working and being active all day.’ For some, this may be true, but for many, you may be selling yourself short. You have been ‘producing,’ all day when you’re at work. Yes, in a sense you have been active, but have you been truly active? We often make the cognitive error that if we’ve been active at work — doing something that may be a drag — that we have no energy left to be active in the ways we really want to be. Perhaps these two types of activities are like two gears you could learn to switch between.
To be truly active is to engage in activity of your highest potential, of the part of you that is yearning to create, or be part of something bigger than yourself, to do something you’re really passionate about. If you do not know what this is yet, that is okay. And for those of you who have found something or a few things you’re passionate about, be aware they may change and that’s okay. Keep pursuing those interests, stay on the path! But for the others: what are you passionate about?! Is it writing, public speaking, playing music, writing music, dancing, reading, painting, starting some business you’ve been wanting to start? There is so much to choose from! You may not know, but that’s part of the fun: exploring your options and experimenting! It’s like playing in a sandbox. This is when you get to be a little bit more free than during the daily grind at work or school. You have the privilege to find yourself. You get to decide what you create. You’re doing it at this moment right now!
Are you conscious of that? That you are creating your life at this very moment? Who chose to read this or listen to this? You! Who chose to be where you are right now? You did, to one degree or another. You have some degree of power, and believe me: I recognize that there is an unequal distribution of power in this world. There’s systemic racism. There is gross inequality. I know it’s hard. I know it’s messed up. As a white, cisgender, straight, upper-middle class man living in the West, I will never know what it is like to suffer as much as BIPOC who have have been and are being oppressed. To be honest, it’s horrifying, disgusting, and it makes me angry what we do to each other. I know it’s easy for me to stand here and say all this considering my socio-economic position. It’s easier for me than for most, I know that. But you can be a small change in this world. And so can I. My aim is to uplift, to use my privilege to empower, to be a beacon of light in these dark times.
Things can get better. Things can at least get better for you, even if it’s a small victory. Even if it means you just walked for five minutes when you’ve been wanting to start an exercise routine. That counts. You count. Your goals count. You have to start somewhere. Michael Jordan didn’t win the Finals the first day he picked up a basketball. It takes commitment, sweat, hard work, tears, frustration, and you will feel the burn in your calves, your chest, and in your skull and soul. But that burn is the fire that will cook and give birth to the phoenix rising from the ashes of the old you. That burn is the fire of the star within you that will bathe the garden of your life with the light that will produce the sweet fruits of your labor that you will one day harvest. But only if you choose to plant those seeds and shine your light. You’re life and your mind is a garden. What kind of garden are you keeping with your actions, thoughts, and emotions that are the sun and rains that nurture them? Are you nurturing your soul, feeding it, yet pushing it? There comes a time when you must be your own mother, when you must be your own father.
There comes a time when you must decide whether you want to keep living like everyone else who has told themselves that they can’t do it and that they’re out of breath and gas. There comes a time when you must decide whether you want to fight and dance through life even if it hurts and burns and is awkward sometimes or most of the time, especially in the beginning, ESPECIALLY IN THE BEGINNING, or if you want to live an easy but dissatisfying life. Trust me, this quest of pursuing your full potential, your higher self’s actualization, your path of happiness and inner peace, balance and equilibrium, your soul’s authentic activity, your best life… this quest to live your best life will be hard. But it will be worth it.
Life is always going to have stress. But it is not about whether there is stress and fatigue. It is about how you deal with it. It is about how you respond, rather than reacting unconsciously. Do you want to an easy, mediocre, dissatisfying but safe life, or do you want to rip that shit out from within you and go hard even if it’s risky, even if it means you’re different? You may look weird, and you may be alone, and it will be hard. But it will be you. Is there anything more satisfying than truly being you in the only life you’ll ever have as YOU? Don’t be a copy of someone else, just another person following the script handed to you by culture, your parents, and society just to fall in line and avoid the heat. You can take the heat. You’re a fucking prince. You’re a princess. You are to be a King of your life, the Queen of your life. You are the Master of your life. Get up and do what is authentically you. Do not take this chance to live fully for granted. This life is a gift. Are you using your gifts?
